someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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