Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
