Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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