How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
