We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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