Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
