Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
