windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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