have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
