I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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