I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
