i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize