Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
And then my night got REAL pukey
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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