I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
