her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
