so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
