I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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