did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
