Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
