then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
