You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Pants are for mortals
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
