The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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