How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
