its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
time to smoke my breakfast
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
