There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
