Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
