ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize