..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
