I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Pooping to opera.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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