you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
false alarm, still single
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