apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize