We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
