Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize