Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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