I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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