Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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