Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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