Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
