Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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