i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
