i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
