Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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