Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
