U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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