I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
