I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
