What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
