So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
