Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I have feelings that need drinking.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
