I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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