haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
