I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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