Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Randomize
