Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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