I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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