Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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