I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
