so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
