My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
