Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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