This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize