You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
