whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
