she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize