..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
