woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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