Is it because I queefed?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
