It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
