So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
no you cant smoke seaweed
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
