On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
