Banned from zoo.
Again?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
