Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
